Salvation
by ChocoProdigy
Summary: AU. Near had been in a state of self hatred, waiting to fall into a sleep from which he would not wake- or at least he would have, had it not been for the tempermental blonde at his new school. MelloxNear
1. Chapter 1

Okay, here is another story from the very odd place know as my mind.

Warnings : Yaoi pairings and slight OOC

Disclaimer: I know, I know, I don't own death note so shut up about it. Seriously.

A/N: By the way, the first chapter happens to be filled with angst. But do not worry the sorry gets quite a bit lighter as it goes on 3 But one more thing...if anyone refers to this chapter as 'emo' I would personally wish to disembowel you through the Internet. ^_^ I do not appreciate the misuse of this word. Does anyone else agree that it is a bit annoying?

___________________________________________________________________________

Hatred is a very powerful emotion. A very powerful weapon that is so similar to fire. It burns to the touch, it can hardly be contained. It drives us mad, it strips us of our precious things be it people or items of sentimental value. And despite it being a emotion of negativity, hatred can also lead to very positive outcomes. Only, that is, if you are willing for it to lead to such, if not you will drown yourself in misery. It is no one elses choice to make only your own, forget the past or wallow in negativity until the day you die. And that was the choice he had made. The choice Nate Rivers had made.

Nate-- no, he calls himself Near now. A new identity in an attempt to start anew though it does very little for the person renaming themselves for the memories of their former identity remains. Near had allowed himself to make an invisible noose of hatred around his neck and since then he has been standing upon a branch waiting for it to snap so the noose can finally tighten. Waiting for his last breath to be made.

His hatred was not directed at anyone who had done all the horrible thing in his life. No, it was not directed at the serial rapist who had brutally murdered his family, nor was it directed at anyone at his previous schools who had bullied and teased him. It was directed at himself, self loathing for being useless in so many situations that did not call for his superior intelligence.

A knife to the wrist, he tells himself, would take it all away. But he was not so rash as to do something that idiotic and even if he had been he still would not escape, thinking he did not deserve to face death earlier than he was meant to. So he wallows within his self loathing until he falls into a sleep from which he will not wake. Forever waiting, never freeing himself from his spell of hate.

Or he would have--he would have stood on the branch until it snapped-- if someone had not decided to save him.

The light shone into the young albino's eyes as he shut the door of his home. The time was seven fifteen a.m., the boy had been heading off to school. His normally all white attire was replaced with a black blazer over a white shirt and black pants, the required uniform for Whammy High school. His walk was quiet, filled with not one single sound aside from the cars that had been passing him by. No other sounds were heard, none that could be heard outside of his brilliant mind. His mind had been plauged with thoughts of what would lay before him. He was positive the school would not be kind to him; he was, after all, transferring in the middle of the year and had been thirteen years old. This would not have been too odd if were a freshman of course, but he was not. He was in his seccond year of high school. Joy oh joy.

It was not as great as you would think, being intelligent. It meant everyone expected something of you and if you could not provide what they wanted, you were trash. Thats all there is to it, no more, no less. He shrugged off these thoughts as he neared the torture facility-- yes he had thought it would be that bad. But you would not expect it to be candy land, would you? I think not.

The sounds of people chatting surrounded him. He noticed that some had changed the topics of their conversations to him, the new white haired child who looked as if he belonged in middle school. And he did, well he did not exactly 'belong' for if you asked him he would say he belonged no where. And where was no where? No where happened to be the place in his mind, the one that no one could read, the part of his mind that no one would dare to touch, probe, or do anything of the sort. The part everyone feared to look into, thinking it would be a very dark place. And indeed it was. But there were many kinds of 'no wheres' and that happened to be his.

He soon grew frustrated of all of the mummers about him looking 'weird', 'diffrent', 'small', and even 'cute' (the last had been the worst of them all. )Sighing, Near closed his eyes imagining himself away from the reality he was in. A diffrent world, one he controlled, one where nothing went wrong, one where he was not the imperfect monstrosity he claimed himself to be. There the sky would be gray, though somehow -- not deppresing in the least. There, the people would all be ignorant to uneeded pain that would tamper with their mental stability. There, all would be right. Justified.

And as he was lost in his thoughts he did not notice where he was walking-- or whom he had been walking into. And unfortunately for himself the other person had been running. The sudden pain throughout his body and the sudden cold of the ground had awoken him from his throughts. Slowly pulling himself up he mumbled an apology to the one he had colided with, an insincere one but an apology nevertheless.. "Watch where the fuck you're going you freak!" Near looked at the figure towering over him, a blond haired male about fifteen years of age, his cerulean eyes narrowed into a glare directed at the albino.

Freak, Near mused. He had been called that for a while, he called himself this term, as did many others from his previous schools. It was as if that name was stuck with him wherever he had went (thought it was partly his fault as he had insulted himself many times by the constant use of this term.) "I'm sorry" He said once more, this time a bit louder than before and still every bit as insincere.

The blond merely growled, appearantly not pleased by the simplicity of the boy's apology. He had expected him to be on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness. 'He must be new' the blond thought 'All the other freshmen have already learned to respect me.' "Whatever you white haired freak. Just get out of my damn way!"

Pushing himself past the albino the blond was now gone, running once more and saying-- no, yelling."Matt where the hell are you!? You used my fucking credit card on games again didn't you!?" Blinking, Near shrugged, ignoring the incident and stalked off to find his first class. But despite his appearant nonchalance, the event had started up a very odd feeling stirring within him, one that told him all would not be the same.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Near sat in the back of the classroom, silently completing the assignment on the board when he heard two males rush through the door. Ten minutes late. For Near this was a very long time after class had begun. Why? Because a lot of things can be done in the mere five minutes of absence. He had completed nearly all work that was assigned and introduced himself to the class. Yes, surely those ten minutes they had wasted could have been spent better than they had been.

The two males -- a red head and the tempermental blond that Near had encountered not to long ago were hunched over, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm themselves down. "Mels thanks a lot for making us late" The red haired boy huffed. The blond said nothing in reply--instead he held his middle finger up to his friend, still too tired to say one word.

"Mello. Matt. You both are late, but seeing as this is only the first time in the year you have been late. You both may take your seats." The teacher BB, drwaled out while sticking a spoonful of strawberry flavoured jam in his mouth. Grinning, the redhead, Matt, dragged Mello to their seats. Near glanced at the two-- they seemed rather interesting. He debated weather he should make an attempt to speak to them-- he soon shook that idea away. They surely would not want somone as useless has himself around. Especially Mello, who he knew was the blond as there had been hints to who is who from the encounter in the morning and when the re-head ahad called the blond 'Mels'. Either way, he knew Mello would not enjoy his presence considering the glare he had recieved.

Shrugging, Near went back to his work, no longer thinking of the two males who had disrupted the class.

Another ten minutes pass and Near had stifiling a yawn, looking down at his work-- all of it being completed. A quick glance at the clock told him that there was about fourty minutes remianing of this class. He had not gotten enough time to sleep as he had woken up a bit late in the morning. Perhaps, he thought, this time could be used to get some rest? Using his arms as a pillow, Near drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

As Near did this he did not notice Mello staring at him, his expression unreadable.

"Mels, if you keep staring you are going to burn holes into him." Mello turned to Matt, his left eye twitching. "I. Was not. Staring." Matt rolled his eyes at his friends denial, "Keep telling yourself that. So do you got the hots for the new kid or something? He's cute, but I didn't think he would be the kind of person you're into, are you a pedophile or something of the sort?" Matt snickered, he knew Mello would never admit it, but he was homosexual.

"Ouch what was that for!?" Matt rubbed his head. Mello had punched as hard as he possibly could without givin his friend a concussion. "Shut the hell up Matt. I was only looking at him because he was that little bastard who ran into me. Besides, even if I had been gay- which i'm not! I would go for someone a bit more...more. I don't know, just not someone like him." Mello growled, his hand still clenched into a fist. Gritting his teeth, Mello sat back down, taking out a chocolate bar to calm his nerves.

Matt held back another laugh as he saw his blond haired friend pretend to do his work when in actuallity his eyes were directed the the albino boy who now was sleeping. This was going to be one hell of a year.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, I know I kind of need to add in the self-hate theing for Near to make this story remain on track so there will be bits of angst here and there.

Note: Near is more OCC in this chapter and the ones after this.

Disclaimer: I do not own.

* * *

"Someone wake him up."

"You do it Seth."

"Me? Hell no someone else do it, he looks weird with that white hair."

"Well someone has to do it ."

Mello grew irritated of this chatter surrounding the newer student that he collided with. If they wanted him up so bad why wouldn't they do it? Growling, he stood up and said. "I'll do it you whiners just sit back down already, you all are giving me a headache!" All went silent as the blonde stomped over to the younger boy's desk.

Mello sneered as he saw the albino with his head laying comfortably within his arms. He looked cute-- too cute. It was sickeningly sweet. Mello, not being a gentle person shoved Near off his chair making him hit the ground with a thud. Near opened his eyes sleepily hearing the next words the male said "Wake the hell up shortie, class is almost over."

Near looked up, his eyes still dazed from being woken up. Sighing, he stood up mumbling another insincere 'thank you'. Hardly anything the boy said was ever sincere. The albino sat back in his chair and gathered his belongings, thinking that this year would be like the previous ones. No matter what school he attends people never change. But he was very wrong. Very wrong indeed.

* * *

The class after his first had been uneventful for Near. The teacher had merely told them to read two chapters out of their history books -- Very dull history books might I add. Near had considered taking a nap once more, but had decided against it. Yes, even he had found no intrest in reading the text, seeing as he had either already known the material within it and even he would not read something that had been much to boring for his tastes. He briefly considered taking another nap, but brushed off the idea, knowing he would more than likely, would sleep longer than he wanted. Again.

After finishing the particularly uninteresting reading, the albino had pondered over what to do to consume the rest of the time he had left in the dreadful class. Soon he had settled for looking out a window that he had been seated by. He had been looking over what had lay before him. The grass fields that were used in physical education were all trimmed, not one part of it being unkept. The other students had been doing whatever sports the teacher had assigned and the sun (unfortunately for them) had been shining brightly, providing heat that had burned if you stayed in one place for too long.

It was beautiful, and at the same time it was annoying. Why did it have to be so bright? And although he knew the scientific answer, Near continued to ask this question.

The light it spread had brought life and all the same it reminded him of burning, burning to death. Such an unfortunate fate. And no matter where you go the sun follows as does the moon, complete opposites, though Near preferred the moon rather than the burning sun. After all when the night does fall, all is calm, a blissful silence as opposed to the sun which had been so unpredictable and spontanious with it's rays of light that could either burn or leave you calmed. The moon was much more predictable and organized compared to the ever so random sun.

And during Near's time looking out the window he had not seen a group of obviously older males cracking their knuckles and making jokes about the poor he had not heard the unpleasant of who would hurt the boy first, it would be, and I quote, his 'welcoming to the school'. Only that his 'welcoming' would be repeated many times through out the year. He had missed the cruel laughter of the group, one of them awaiting for the boy to be alone.

As the bell rang signaling class was over, Near gathered his belongings once more, waiting for the others to empty out so he could make his way out the door without being trampled, only this time he never left the classroom willingly. A tight grip on his wrist was all he felt and all he saw had been he black blazer of a male uniform before a fist had collided with his left eye and the hand on the wrist turned until he felt a distinct pain in said area.

* * *

Near felt pain surge through out his body as he was slammed into a locker. He knew this would happen, it always did. There was always someone who did not like him or decided to use him as a human punching bag. He held back a cry as he hit the locker again, tasting the metallic flavor of blood entering his mouth. His attacker's face was unknown to him, he did not want to look up at the moment knowing that the face would be twisted into an evil grin of sorts -- or possibly a look of anger and frustration of not getting a reaction out of the poor boy.

A hand tightened around his neck as he was lifted slightly off the ground, his body being moved so easily that it made it seem as if he were a mere doll instead of a human being. Blood trickled down his chin and staining his uniform. And as he had been thrown, face down onto the cold floor of the hall, he could not help it--- he cried out. He then heard the bone chilling laughter of whoever it was 'playing' with him, it was a long and almost psychotic, it unnerved him greatly. And as he made a poor attempt to escape a shoe came in contact with his head, pressure being heavily applied. Near clenched his fists, not allowing himself to cry out again. Soon, the pressure disappeared as did the person that had once been hurting the boy.

Not once did he allow himself to look at his attacker's face, and not once did he wish that he had.

As he attempted to regain his composure he wondered how this had happened. All he remembered was exiting his second period class only to be dragged into some part of the school, who had done this to him and why? He honestly did not want to know. He did not want to know who else, other than himself, would hate him so much on his first day of school. Perhaps it was merely a person who had found some sort of entertainment in hurting those who seemed frail and he just happened to be the closest weakling? Possibly. It has happened to him before. Or maybe it had been merely because of his appearance? So many possibilities though the outcome never changed.

Near groaned in pain as he attempted to stand, one hand on the lockers, the other holding his throbbing head, his body still weak from the incident. So useless. Always so helpless. Disgusting. Near's knees failed on him and he fell to the ground, silently cursing himself. Finally finding the strength to stand, Near allowed himself a small smile. At least he could do that much.

Deciding that the wounds were not bad, just a few bruises, cuts, and a possibly sprained wrist, he went off to the boy's washroom just as the bell had rung for lunch.

* * *

The cool water hit his face, washing the blood away. He looked worse than he had first thought, his left eye had a dark bruise forming, blood adorned his face and some parts of his head and parts of his uniform had blood on it, thankfully though it had only been the blazer. His hair had been develished, as if had barely woken from a nightmare. If anyone else were to describe him at the moment they would say it was as if he were a ghost that had been streaked with the blood of the innocent, or possibly like someone who had been gravely ill and had spilt some sort of red sauce over his face and hair. Something of the sort.

His fingers brushed over his face where there had been minor cuts. This would be rather hard to explain. What would he do when he got home? What could he tell his foster father, L, to explain this while not telling the truth all the same? And more importantly what would he tell the teachers if they asked? They always asked more questions than necessary, always interrogating. Always asking questions that were better left unanswered and never did the get the clue that it was not their business to know.

Near sighed as he looked down at the sink, not all of the blood had washed away in the sink, leaving some stains on the once pure white surface. "Fuck." He mumbled. A sudden voice that was not his own brought him out of his thoughts. "My, my. Such colorful language for someone so small ." He turned, now facing the red haired friend of Mello. Matt. The older of the two winced as he seen the pale boy's face, he did not recall seeing these bruises and cuts in his first class.

Matt had entered the washroom not long after Near, only a twenty to thirty second difference. And he had been standing at the door, watching him. Observing the reddened liquid falling into the sink, though he had not seen the cuts and bruises until Near had turned, he knew it had been blood. Why he had come to the bathroom in the first place? He had forgotten, though it most likely would have been to smoke a cigarette or two...or possibly three.

Now aware of the situation, Near hung his head. A very poor attempt to hide the bruises. "I'm not that small, I'm thirteen. Which in fact, is not so much so much younger than yourself. Only about two to three years difference, correct?" Matt blinked, he had only thought the boy to be twelve or maybe eleven, he was a bit short for his age.

Matt was now staring at boy before him. "How did that happen," He started "Your bruises I mean." Near's heart felt as if it stopped it's beating for a moment. And before he could think of how stupid it sounded, he said the first thing that came to mind. " I fell down a flight of stairs." Matt narrowed his eyes "Oh really? Well that must have been a very long flight of stairs." His voice made it obvious that he was skeptical, but Near ignored this. As long as the redhead did not press the matter it would suffice no matter how stupid his excuse had been.

"Oh well, it's not my place to say anything," Near almost let out a breath of relief, but held it back knowing it would add fuel to the almost calmed fire. "So why don't I make it my place to say something? Want to hang out?" Near blinked, this was odd. Was the older boy suggesting being friends? Or making an attempt at doing so?

"I'll take that as a yes." Matt took Near by the wrist -- his sprained one, not noticing the boy bite his lip in pain, and dragged him off to the cafeteria, whilst talking about some game he had been playing.

* * *

Near was surprised, Matt had actually tolerated him. The older boy did not mind his remarks of how unrealistic some things had bee in one of the games Matt had described...something called Resident Evil. His suprise had been multiplied when Matt had told him that he was good company. How odd. And even now as they sat eating their lunch (although Near was merely picking at his own with his spork rather than consuming it.) Matt had made no insults about him, nothing at all. And if he had commented the boy, it was a compliment, though it may had been a way to keep his mind off the bruises and minor cuts that had distracted him from the younger boy's once pale and uninjured face.

Matt had been surprised as well, he had not expected the boy to be so interesting. Yes, he knew the boy was cute but aside form that fact, upon first observation he appeared a bit ... dull, but in reality the boy had a sense of humor, a bit witty. But to actually hear this you have to talk to the boy himself, otherwise it is hard to believe considering how quiet he had been.

"Toys? You like toys? As in robots and stuff like that?" Matt had said, laughing a bit. Being fifteen years old, he did not think that a boy should like toys after the age of eleven, otherwise you would just be plain weird. Near nodded, seeing nothing wrong with liking toys, after all he had needed something to distract himself from reality and toys had been perfect in doing just that.

Soon enough though their pleasant conversations came to an abrupt end as a new person seen them. Mello. "Hey Matt, why the hell are you with the new kid?" Mello barked as he set -- more like slammed the tray containing his food unto the table. Suddenly alert, Near turned his head the opposite way, giving the blond no chance to see his bruises. "Near is not that bad you know."

"I don't care if you think he is not 'that bad' He looks like a fucking weirdo!" Matt scoffed at how much of a hypocrite his friend was. "What the fuck Mels, and you are not a weirdo? You eat chocolate more than that god damned chubby boy in Charlie In The Chocolate Factory." Gritting his teeth, Mello took out a chocolate bar despite the insult that had just been made, then after unwrapping it,smirked and bit off a chunk that had been fairly big. This had been done merely to annoy Matt further as he had recalled the boy from said movie -- Agustus Gloop? Mello mentally shrugged, knowing it was something along those lines.

Near inwardly sighed, his head still turned away from Mello. It seemed as if he had disappeared completely. Matt seemed to take notice of Near's discomfort and reached over the table to ruffle his hair and gave him a grin before returning to his argument. "Anyways Mels, you don't even know him. You're so quick to make judgements--" Matt stopped mid-sentence noticing Near pulling himself up from his seat. "Hey Near where are you going? Mello is just being an ass, you can stay." Near looked at Matt, giving Mello a full view of the bruises, and a ghost of a smile upon his face. " I do think I need to go to the nurse before class begins. My left wrist may be sprained."

Matt nodded, knowing Near would not really go to the nurses office even though his wrist may really could be sprained. "Alright, but watch out. You do not want to fall down those _stairs_again. Am I right?" Near did not respond, he merely gave Matt a glance, seeing the disbelief still lingering in his eyes after he said the word stairs and proceeded to exit the cafeteria, throwing away his uneaten food into the garbage can. And during his time of silence Mello was looking at Near once again, this time looking at the bruises that he had not noticed before. All he could think about was what had happened to the albino and before he could question Matt about it the red headed gamer began to ramble on about something involving his last class.

There was something about that boy, Mello thought, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration, something that irked him and yet it wanted him to get a bit closer to him. And despite this, he would continue to reject any sort of communication with the boy for as long as possible. If only that were possible; after all it was merely Near's first day, there was more trouble and confrontations to come. And as he did this, Matt stared at his best friend, noticing his eyebrows furrowing for no apparent reason.

* * *

Near stood in the middle of one of the many vacant halls, his head no longer throbbing, though his wrist and now darkening bruise had both remained to be a nuisance.

How would he make it through the rest of the day in this condition? He could not, this he knew. The rest of the day would be trouble, it would be a hindrance to stay around. Sighing, he decided to make his way to the nurse's office, preparing himself to be bombarded by questions.

Soon he stood before the door that led to the infirmary, his hand quickly opening the door and taking glances around the room. Surprisingly it had been green, possibly to calm students, plants had been placed in corners of the room also making an attempt to add to the calming effect of the room. The nurse had also been surprising, she did not ask any questions that he would have deemed unnecessary, and when she asked how the incident had occurred he lied and said that he had been playing a game of basketball to try to make friends and ended up getting hit. A much better (though not believable if you had actually acquainted with him previously) lie than his other one, 'falling down a flight of stairs'. after a quick observation, he had been allowed to go home, also telling another lie saying that his guardian had been out on business. And though he had been doing some work at the moment, he had not actually been out of town.

Sighing in content, he made his way out of the school doors, just minutes after the bell had rung, passing both Mello and Matt once more before he made his way to his sanctuary -- his home, the one place he was close to belonging in. The light had hit him on the way out, the sun still shining, though this time it had been in a calming way rather than that of a burning or simply annoying manner that seemed to blind, the sun had been momentarily calmed though it may not be for longer -- it had always been unpredictable that way.

* * *

End Chapter Two.

And as for this chapter I think many of you realized when i was speaking of the sun and the moon I also referred to Near and Mello in a way-- though I had not originally intended to do so, it had merely popped in my mind as I typed.

Reviews appreciated~


End file.
